After a bit of scouring on the universal repository of information that is Google, I have found but one single, lonely reference to "polarbear neckwear" (interestingly enough, used in the exact phrasing). Unfortunately the poet who spun his verse with regards to our fair site was none other than the notoriously illegitimate gangster, Gucci Mane. On his reportedly freestyled track "Lights On, Lights Out", the Goochster spits:
"Frostbite, Klondike, Polar Bear neckwear...
Watch & Ring, fridgedaire, $30,000 dolla here,
Ice on dem wheels holla, 'Million Dolla Rims' partna...
I can't talk to you...you ain't talkin' cash dolla!"
Now this pathetic excuse is the only reference to Polar Bears and Neckwear to be found on the internet? Sadly, the creativity we showed in concocting our own apellation mirrors Gucci's in more than sheer product. It was something of a freestyle on our part, that when blogspot asked us to devise some peculiar moniker to describe the site which had yet to be created, we came up with such an odd choice.
Frighteningly, we must also consider the possibility that if our brains are so attuned with that of Sir Goochins, that we may have more in similar than may be outwardly obvious. To get the most blatant resemblances out of the way first, I must note and accept that us Polar Bears may have as strong of an affinity for "ice" as modern rappers. Whether we find our *bling* in the northern ice caps or the window of Jacob the Jeweler (circa 2005), it all seems to point in the direction of congruity. Next, ask yourself the question, "Have you ever seen a happy polar bear not covered in fur?"...I thought so. Now think, "Does Gucci Mane like his share of furs?"...I'll answer this one for you:
Finally, it seems like both of our prospects for the coming year seem bleak. Gucci, who violated parole by neglecting to fulfill his community service requirements due to a previous encounter with the law, will be spending 2009 in prison and, if he's anything like Shyne, putting together albums and mixtapes for our pleasure. (Alert: POSITIVE MESSAGE AHEAD!) For me, the situation is equally grave. According to Dr. Nick Lunn of the Canadian Wildlife Service,
"The condition of adult bears has steadily been decreasing, with the average weight of females declining toward a threshold at which the chances of it bearing viable cubs becomes doubtful. As Nick explained, that threshold may be reached, if the trends continue as they have, as soon as 2012. The principal cause for the deteriorating condition of this population of bears is the early break-up of sea ice. Bears have to go further and work harder to find their principal source of food, the ring seal, and thus the female gives birth to her cubs more emaciated and less able to nurture her cubs. More cubs are not surviving to adulthood. The overall threat to the population is that current generations of bear will not be replaced."
I guess Gucci and I will have to prove over the course of this year that we are survivors in one way or another. Good luck to a brother in a rough situation!